By Isadora Alman, board-certified loveologist and California-licensed relationship counselor. She is a frequent T.V. and radio talk show guest and writes the "Ask Isadora" advice column on love and relationships in newsweeklies worldwide.

There is one thing that seekers after loveual truth can get on the 'Net that is just not very available to those who write letters to my syndicated advice column ("Ask Isadora") in their local alternative paper. That's direct information from other men and women about what they feel, think and do about love and relationships. Some people, probably the majority of younger users, post questions that are about their own places in the scheme of things -- "Here's my story. Am I weird?" For some it's physical ("One of mine is bigger than the other one"); for some it's psychological ("I love doing X to my girlfriend. Does anyone else like X?").

Seeking Assurances

A very common question posed on the Loveuality Forum is an informal survey -- "How many of you do ... this? How old were you when you first did ... that?" And of course, the worldwide global village responds, sometimes numerous responses within the hour. I can tell a writer to my column that "many women enjoy such and such"; I can even print letters (weeks later) from a woman or two who wrote in to say so. But the immediacy of all those voices saying "Here!" from New York City and Sydney, Anchorage and London can't be beat as a source of information and validation. Validation seeking and assurances are the No. 1 issues of most posters.

How To ...

There are people, of course, who want specific suggestions -- "How do I do this better, deeper, bigger, with ruffles and flourishes?" As a love educator, offering simple how-to suggestions is right up my alley. Surprisingly, I rarely get a chance to respond because 20 others who have been there and tried that are extremely eager to share their wisdom. I may often feel aced out, but I am also delighted at the frequent respect -- even tenderness -- with which strangers deal with the most delicate areas of another person's life. Hearing from a fellow human, or several, who have been there is a lot more real than hearing it from "the expert," which is how it should be.

Information

Those who are seeking information are also far better served by the collective input of the more than 60,000 readers, posters and lurkers at the Forum. A website recommendation for a particular topic, a book on another one, are there for the asking quicker than a research librarian could provide, often with commentary on the personal relevance of the resource.

Can't Solve Every Problem

There are, of course, some posts that suggest no easy answers. The poster's relationship seems in dire jeopardy or the troublesome physical thing could be serious. Some espouse a worldview that one can tell at first glance leaves them lonely and bitter. A person can find much that is therapeutic at the Loveuality Forum but they will not find therapy, which is best accomplished in a face-to-face office setting.

Most Popular Topics

Some of the topics that recently have generated a great deal of interested commentary are:

• Penis size -- To whom does it matter?
• The G Spot -- Does it exist? Where is it?
• Intercourse specifics -- What are good positions? When's too soon?
• Is cyber-flirting cheating?
• S/M practices -- Who does what to whom and can it really feel good?

Do you have anything to say on any of these matters? Want to find out more? Join the discussions or start your own at the gauality Forum.