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Whether your family's December holiday is Hanukkah, Kwanza, or Christmas, one thing is cross-cultural: Few people truly relish the thought of spending a week back home in the family nest. Sure, a few days (hours, minutes) are fine, but inevitably one reverts to childhood, and those petty resentments that are the unfortunate by-product of having grown up in a family start to bubble up to the surface and you remember why you decided to have your own life in the first place. These are totally healthy and normal feelings, by the way, and have been around for

a good long time. Wasn't it Tolstoy who wrote "All families are happy in the same way, but each family is unhappy in its own way"? (Sure it was -- Anna Karenina, page one, line one. Good holiday reading, by the way, though it sure is long.) Sure, you could spend tons of money and time on psychotherapy, tell your parents and siblings what you really think, make your peace with them, and eventually become a well-adjusted person. Even so, you'll need some coping strategies for dealing with your family drama this holiday season. All kidding aside, remember: It's only once a year, and these people won't be around forever -- loving your family the way they are is what being a grown-up is really all about. This Will Make You Feel Better Would you like to read about how dysfunctional other people's families are? Happy Families specializes in stories about weird relatives, annoying spouses, and family vacations from hell. Browse a few of these and you'll realize things could be worse. Or join the club -- submit some of your own.Another hilarious must-read is Salon Magazine's Jews for Jesus, an unlikely (yet true) account of a Jewish teacher's self-imposed obsession with Christmas. Help From the Pros It's not a bad idea to bone up on some coping techniques. The American Psychological Association's Coping with Holiday Stress addresses such issues as coping with kids' unreasonable gift wishes, understanding why a chronically ill family member is such a downer, and being realistic about chronic family problems during the holidays.The University of Indiana's holiday pages feature an excellent article on managing stress during the holidays. Holiday Stress discusses underlying causes, unreasonable expectations, and actual coping techniques, including breathing, time management, and support mechanisms.Finally, the Mayo Clinic's Stress in excess -- Battling the hectic holidays has a Q&A with Dr. Lawrence Martin, an adult psychiatrist whose thoughts put holiday stress in perspective. Holiday blues -- Don't let the crush of the season get you down gives a comprehensive list of things you can do to address your stress while maintaining as much of your regular life as possible. Stress -- How you respond affects your health and When you're stressed, catch your breath provide helpful guides to coping with stressful situations and free-floating anxiety. Buy Their Gifts Without Leaving the House ... the Dernier Cri in Passive-Aggressive Behavior And finally ... living well is indeed the best revenge. Won't buying their holiday presents on the Web make you feel better? In other words, clicking a mouse instead of braving the crowds at Macy's? These days, you can actually go to Macy's and Bloomingdale's on the Web. There you will find countless virtual assistants just dying to help you find that perfect something for that special someone. It's the ultimate in no-fuss, no-muss shopping.Point-and-click shopping is ridiculously easy at Dean & Deluca, a website where you can actually close your eyes, click on anything, and wind up with an elegant gourmet food gift. Given the menu of charcuterie, caviar, truffles, cheese, chocolate, and confections ... you simply cannot go wrong. Your credit is the limit.What about cantankerous old Uncle Charlie, who doesn't like food or clothes but loves weird gadgets? For him and others like him (say, your Dad) you'll find something at Hammacher Schlemmer, purveyors of overpriced bizarre gadgets, impeccably wrapped, for literally 150 years now. Holiday picks include a krypton-lighted dog leash, a remote-control blimp, and a lighted bocce ball set.The best part is, play your cards right and they'll never know. Trust me, it's better this way.